A while back, Jay Smooth, one of my favourite anti-racist vloggers, posted this video on youtube. He called it ‘Beating the Inner Hater’ and it’s one of those I always come back to every now and then:
Like most people with social anxieties, I have a pretty bad case of Imposter Syndrome. One of my personal goals has always been to try to handle her appropriately – as I’m sure is pretty familiar to anyone in a similar boat reading this, there’s always this fear of killing her off in case you become one of those arrogant entitled jack asses you hate. On the other hand, you’ve come to realise that, well, she’s a bitch and needs to be ended.
To be frank.
I’ve been working on an interactive history app using the meteor.js framework. It’s not yet on Git as there’s a few more features to add before I’m happy with poc and getting more users on board to test it out, but I thought it would be a useful milestone to present something and get some feedback.
I had a great time, not least because I got to meet up with familiar faces and have interesting discussions about the world of african history, start ups, code and sociological impact of technology and access to it. As you do.
So I guess if there’s one good thing about the inner hater, it’s that she keeps me actively learning. Maybe I’m not going to end her after all if we can come to a warped ladies agreement in the end. We shall see. In the meantime, well, I’ll keep doing me.